In this conversation singer-songwriter Misao McGregor discusses their debut album titled 'Kid In The Corner', an autobiographical body of work that features 11 tracks. Misao also provides a breakdown of each track and shares the inspiration behind the album.
Hi Misao, tell us a bit about yourself!
Hey! I’m Misao McGregor and I am a singer/songwriter & playwright based in Los Angeles, CA. I grew up in a musical family and was trained classically in piano and voice from a young age. I received my BA in Music and Theater from Connecticut College in 2018, and for the past two years now, I have been working on producing my own music and releasing it independently!
When did you first become interested in music?
Since both of my parents were professional musicians, I didn’t really have a choice to not be involved in music growing up. But I always felt connected to music in ways that I could never describe. I started writing music when I was twelve and I think that’s when it really started to click. I was excited to start exploring this new skill that then became a tool for me to process my emotions. I didn’t share my songwriting for a long time until I was about seventeen. From then on, I knew that being able to sing my own songs and own my voice was something that felt really right to me.
How would you describe your musical style?
If I had to sum up my musical style, I would say it’s a blend of indie, pop, alternative, and soul. I grew up listening to so many different artists and influences so it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where I got my sound from. But I kind of like that I get to continually explore and redefine my sound as I grow and evolve. Once I started producing my own stuff, I definitely started to get a feel for what my musical landscape sounds like.
You have just released your debut album ‘Kid in the Corner’, what can you tell us about the concept behind the album?
‘Kid in the Corner’ is an autobiographical look into my previous 24 years of life. All of the songs on the album were written within the last five years of my life and all represent different parts of my emotional journey as a queer, non-binary, mixed-race human being in this world. In developing the album, I started to view it as an incredibly therapeutic process where I could confront different abusers from my past and even confront myself in my more self-destructive tendencies. When describing the album, it always gets really dark and heavy, but I promise there are fun synths and drums to dance to! If anything, this album was a necessary project for me to uncover the different layers of myself as I work to emerge from the density of my insecurities.
When and where did you record the album?
I recorded the whole album in my brother’s old room in my parent’s house! The last two years have been filled with a lot of musical exploration so I essentially recorded this album a couple of times over with different gear to get the right sound for the project.
How was the recording process? Did you face any obstacles in the process?
The recording process was a lot. I was doing everything myself, which was also my choice, so it felt like I kept entering different stages without anybody to share my progress with (the burden of being a stubborn artist). But once I got the instrumentals ready to go, I recorded vocals, worked on mixing, and listened to it a thousand times over to try and get it to where I heard it in my head. There were a lot of times when I didn’t feel like the album would ever get finished, but once it was completed, I had this moment of “uh oh… what now?”
Your album features 11 tracks, could you briefly talk us through the tracks and the meaning behind each track on the album?
The album starts off with the audio track “23 Hours Old,” which is a compilation of different audio clips from family videos growing up. The title was inspired by my dad’s narration of my first cameo on film when I was literally only 23 hours old and in my mom’s arms at the hospital. In the background, you can also hear my brother playing with me as a baby and the strings start to swell into the next track and first song of the album, “Blue Boi.”
The best way I can describe “Blue Boi” is that it’s my most confident self. It was the first song I ever produced and put out on my 23rd birthday, so starting the album in that way felt like a nice way to recall all the progress I’ve made in the last two-ish years.
“She Was Worlds Above Me” is the first gay song I wrote where I fictionalized what it would have been like if I had let myself have my first crush on a girl as a thirteen-year-old. I repressed my sexuality for a long time so this song was a great way to try and heal that trauma that I both had inflicted upon me and inflicted upon myself.
“Baby Face” starts to mark a different phase in the album where I’m still confident, but some of that hurt is starting to come through. I wrote that song after a guy who was in a position of power over me didn’t like my attitude towards him and decided to tear me a new one. Afterward, “Runaway” comes in and shows how my fight-or-flight instinct is pretty much intrinsically aligned with wanting to run away (not a quality I’m super proud of). But “Runaway” ultimately finds its way back to the centre of conflict and chooses to deal with the demons even though avoiding them can be easier at times.
Next up is “Happy Birthday 1999,” another audio recording of a family video on my 3rd birthday. I don’t actually remember my 3rd birthday at all, but that video just perfectly captures what our family dynamic was like between my mom, dad, brother, and me, the baby.
It leads straight into “Stay in the Desert,” which is where the album definitely takes a more introspective turn. Because my parents were musicians, they worked concerts in the evenings so I had a lot of babysitters growing up. I remember missing them so much each night they went off and this song was just what came out of me when I lived in that feeling a little longer as an adult.
“Eight” continues into my relationship with my mom specifically and how I always wished I could convey to her just how much I loved and still love her. Growing up in a mixed-race Japanese household, we didn’t express our love for one another through hugs or kisses or even saying “I love you.” So “Eight” is just trying to come to terms with that, again as an adult looking back.
“Weather the Weather” is actually the most recent song I wrote off of the album. During high school, I endured a pretty tumultuous and abusive power dynamic with a teacher that left me feeling incredibly vulnerable to emotional manipulation. Whenever I find myself having a difficult time in life, I always recall that experience and think about how I survived even as hard as it was. So “Weather the Weather” is trying to recall that strength and wondering if maybe I lost that strength along the way in trying to heal from it.
“Eventually” continues in a similar vein, working to reclaim trauma, but it was the first song I wrote where I actually gave myself permission to heal. It was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and knowing eventually I would be at peace with what happened and with myself.
To end the album is “B Major.” This song is completely stripped down - just voice and piano - and I had the chance to record it in my family living room on the grand piano I grew up with. So that was incredibly special. For me, “B Major” is returning to my roots of just piano and voice, no synths or drums or MIDI instruments to accompany. That’s always the foundation that I will return to no matter what. And the lyrics are pretty much as vulnerable as I can get.
Do you have a favourite song from the album?
I honestly don’t think I do right now. I really just love the album as a whole. I think that the entire narrative of it hinders me from picking out one song from the mix because they all flow together to make up a collage of who I am and have been for the last couple of years of my life.
The inclusion of sound clips particularly at the beginning of the album (23 hours old) presents the LP as a diary or personal documentation of growing up, would you agree with that interpretation?
Yes, definitely! It’s very much like a diary or an audio documentary of my life. That always sounds narcissistic when I say it like that, but honestly, I’m the only subject that I know best in my life so why not try to unravel myself through art as a means of exploration? I guess I have to learn how to separate exploration from ego.
Are there any artists who have particularly influenced your sound?
Let me just list for you some of the artists I had stacked up next to each other in a playlist growing up: Sara Bareilles, Rascal Flatts, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, the Wicked soundtrack among other Broadway gems, Switchfoot, Bombay Bicycle Club, Steel Train, Bleachers, Tegan and Sara, Frightened Rabbit, the Naked and Famous, Debussy, Temper Trap, the 1975, Neon Trees, Gregory Alan Isakov, and Death Cab for Cutie. I really have no idea who influenced me the most because they all captured my heart in some way.
The tracks featured on the album are deeply personal and introspective, do you tend to draw inspiration from your own personal experiences or was this a conscious decision when you were recording the album?
I’ve always used music and songwriting as a tool to explore and express my emotions, so it definitely wasn’t a conscious decision to decide to be vulnerable. I’ve also always worn my heart on my sleeve, so sensitivity and emotionality are like air and water to me. Again, sounds gross but I’m learning to live with it and accept it.
Are there any plans to release visuals for the album?
I definitely would love to in the future but right now, I don’t have the funds and/or equipment!
How has the current pandemic affected your creative process when it comes to making new music and engaging with your listeners?
The pandemic has actually given me time to sit down and focus on music which has been incredible and invaluable. But I’ve also noticed that there’s been this pressure to be creative and productive because artists have so much time on their hands now. So I put out two songs at the beginning of the pandemic, one in March and one in May, and then I decided I wanted to take my time on the album. I’m honestly not really sure who listens to my music, but whoever they are, I can’t believe they do and I hope I keep making sounds that inspire them to stick around!
What are you most looking forward to doing once lockdown and restrictions are fully lifted?
Just being able to breathe again. I have been living in a household of four adults (myself included) and none of us have left since March. It’s been really tough and I already suffer from anxiety and depression, so those have just escalated during this period of time as I’m sure so many other people have experienced. I think once vaccines come out and we don’t have to worry about social distancing and wearing masks everywhere, I’ll just feel like I can breathe better. I definitely feel like I’ve had a boulder sitting on my chest this entire time, and I’ve been at home, safe and well. So if I’m this anxious and have still had access to this amount of luxury and privilege, I can’t imagine how relieved others who have had to endure much more severe circumstances will feel.
As an independent artist, what challenges have you faced in terms of trying to find success in the music industry?
I think the biggest challenge I face is dealing with imposter syndrome. As an independent artist, I’m literally just making music in the back bedroom of my childhood home and putting it out into the universe, hoping someone will listen to it. I guess in that way, it can feel a little bit isolating, but social media has managed to come through in providing communities of support and inspiration. I think the biggest hurdle I had to get over was to stop comparing myself to others and just focus on what I can do and what feels right and authentic to me as an artist.
What would you like to see change in the current music industry?
More diversity not just with artists but amongst those behind the scenes! It makes such a difference when you get to work with others who are not just white men - some of whom are great - but it really makes a difference when there are a multiplicity of identities and experiences in the room. I would love to see more artists, engineers, technicians, directors, and musicians who are BIPOC, trans, non-binary, queer, and gender non-conforming!
What advice would you give to someone who may want to start a career in the music industry?
This is so basic but just do what makes you happy. It literally does not matter what anybody else thinks if you are making music that is authentic to you. If you’re looking to get famous overnight, that’s a different arena. If you’re looking to become an artist, that takes a lifetime to cultivate.
What is the best advice you have received?
There’s no right way to do this. Everyone is carving their own path whether it feels like that or not. So just focus on where you’re at and cultivate the capacity to cheer others on in their journey. That same love and support will come back to you in the end.
Check out Misao McGregor's debut album 'Kid In The Corner' in the link down below!
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